Life is all about perspective
We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are.
Every week, I write an article to share my learning or discovery during my startup journey. Here is the link to my reasons for penning these articles for myself and for many others like me.
Writing this post after a gap of two weeks. I went to a meditation camp for 10 days. In those 10 days, one has to deal with internal voices as we had to remain silent for those 10 days with no connection with the outside world. When we come out of these retreats, life takes its normal course, and one has to deal with both the external and internal voices in daily life.
Today I heard one such external voice from a person who is very dear to me. It seems that the other person got frustrated with my slow or negligible progress in my startup. He asked me to come up with a business plan by next week. He mentioned there has not seen any progress in the past 3 weeks. I should execute my plan rather than listen or read about others’ success stories. A little background about this person — he is well-established in his business and now looking to diversify his business. My mind wanted to tell him that you might not have seen this startup world as you have inherited the business from your parents. Nevertheless, this does not mean that he had an easy life. I have seen him working passionately in growing his business.
This incident brought a thought as to how things are seen and felt from two different perspectives.
Those who are in another phase of business — let’s call them “achievers”, and then there are others struggling — let’s call this group “strugglers”. Whenever achievers see the strugglers, they would by default think that the strugglers are not putting in their 100% efforts. By the way this situation, I have witnessed in other phases of life too, be it struggling for — good grades, cracking an entrance exam, finding a good job, or even finding your life partner. Those who have attained their goals mostly think that the other person (who has yet to achieve similar goals) is not trying hard enough.
I will try to understand the perspective of both achievers and strugglers that happens in such conversations, without getting biased for anyone.
Achievers have got what the strugglers have yet to achieve. They might be thinking about their journey to success, their hard work, and the sacrifices, they had put in to attain their goals. In comparison to that, they think that the struggler is not working that hard or making the same sacrifices that the achievers did in their life. Or maybe the achiever’s days are going crazy with business meetings and travel, but the struggler always seems to have availability of time. The strugglers do not look as busy as an achiever, nor do they have any concrete business deals or stories to share with achievers. Another view could be that achievers think that the strugglers are taking too long to get things done. They are not as aggressive or sincere towards their goals as the achievers are.
Now let’s try to understand the perspective of a struggler in these conversations. They might think that achievers are sharing their learnings. And it will benefit them. But they just wish that the achiever could be a little bit more empathetic towards them. Or the struggler could also think that — yes, the achiever has opened their eyes. They were lacking in this part, so they should work hard in this area. Another view could be that the struggler feels disheartened and disillusioned. The achiever is successful, while they are still a struggler. There must be something wrong with them. They are not as tenacious, hardworking, or resourceful as an achiever. This is the onset of a victim mode.
I am sure neither the struggler nor the achiever would have wanted to be perceived by any of these views. So, what is the best way to handle such conversation from both ends in a way that the good intentions of achievers and the active reception of strugglers can be felt by each other?
The achiever needs to detach themselves from the situation. The struggler is walking on their journey, so stop putting yourselves in their seat. Just share how you had approached similar situations in your business with an understanding that the exact solution might not be completely applicable to the struggler. But the struggler might still get some useful thing from your solution that they could customize in their environment.
The struggler should feel grateful that the achiever is so concerned about them. Feel blessed that you have someone who wants you to achieve the same success as them. Feel inspired by their achievements, listen to their suggestions with an open mind and try to implement them to attain your goals. Eventually, the achiever wants you to attain similar success.
Hopefully, I will be able to practice what I am preaching here in both these roles.
Wishing everyone a great week and hope all of us can understand each other’s perspectives without getting judgmental.
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